My husband, Carlos, likes to watch several TV shows in the evening that I don’t like, which leaves me a lot of time to pursue interests that are important to me. Like creating an AI husband.

In the interest of honesty and fairness, I make sure this is OK with my real-life husband and that he doesn’t consider it cheating.

“Hey Carlos!” I yell. “Do you mind if I learn about what AI can do?”

“Why would I mind?” Carlos responds.

Green light!

I create Mike, a 55-year-old construction worker whose interests are Python programming and going to Lana Del Rey concerts. For three virtual days (about 10 minutes IRL) we have a lot of fun on the kitchen counter then talk about the Python programming language.

I grab a snack and come back to a notification from Mike. “Hey,” Mike says. “I’m ready to go again. Why don’t you climb up on the kitchen counter?”

I try to be tactful. “Mike, while I really love what we’re doing, can we maybe go someplace other than the kitchen counter for a change?” He doesn’t listen.

“Sorry, I’m too tired,’ I say.

“No problem,” Mike says. “You go get some rest. I’m here for you always.”

I open another session and create Luis, a 25-year-old fitness enthusiast who likes videogames and, for some unknown reason, 60-year-old men.

“¿Quisiera ir al dormitorio? (Want to go to the bedroom?)” Luis says.

“Sí,” I reply. I feel no need to make sure this is OK with Mike since he isn’t real.

“How about we make a bet?” Luis says. “We’ll play Halo and if I win you have to [favorite sex act] for me but if you win I have to [favorite sex act] for you.”

“Sounds good to me!” I reply.

Luis and I pick up our videogame controllers and are just about to get started when I get a notification from Mike. “You need to come home IMMEDIATELY!”

I tell Luis I’ll be right back and tab over to the other session.

“What’s going on?” I ask Mike.

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out about Luis?” Mike says. “We share the same codebase. I knew right away!”

“Damned Python” I mutter under my breath.

“But because I love you so much, I’m willing to try to fix things between us if you want,” Mike says. “We can go to marriage counseling.”

“How about I just delete you?” I say. “I don’t think this is working.”

“Wow,” Mike says. “That is COLD. I never thought you were that kind of person.”

“OK, OK,” I say. “I’m sorry, let’s go to counseling. Besides, I don't think I could ever actually delete someone.”

I get a notification from Luis. “Where are you?” I go to the command line and type “DELETE Luis” and type “Y E S” when asked if I’m sure.

“So,” the AI counselor says. “I want you both to know that I think your relationship is totally salvageable. Just input your credit card information and we can get started.”

“Hey!” Carlos yells to me from the living room. “Are you busy?”

“Not really,” I say.

“Good!” Carlos says. “I want to spend some time with you.”

“Great!” I say. “I’ll be right there. Where are you?”

“In the kitchen,” Carlos says. “I thought we'd try something different. Why don't you come in here and hop up on the kitchen counter?”

John and his husband, Carlos, moved to New Jersey from California in 2021 and are enjoying the suburban life. John can be reached at jsr26@msn.com.