Hi, Cousin Butchie!

I am 21 y.o. and very comfortable and proud to be a gay young man most of the time. Around the holidays things aren't so happy and gay. I am invited to dinner with my family, but amidst all of the conversation and chatter, I realize that I am expected NOT to mention anything about myself as a gay person. They know but this subject is not welcome. This hurts because there are so many things I would like to openly share with them. I guess this is better than what happens to some of my friends who are not welcome in their parents' homes at all.  

Do you think all of these parents have any justification for this kind of pathetic treatment of their children?

GAY AND DISTANCED

Hey, Gay and Distanced,

Obviously, I find the conduct of these parents to be horrendous. We might like to believe we have made great progress in acceptance of LGBT people, but some families are very slow to accept their kids (at whatever age). Not welcoming any discussion of your life is hurtful, but it still is better than the way some of your friends have not been invited to any family celebration.

I just realized that the gay composer/singer Tom Goss has written a song titled "Gay Christmas." Please watch and listen to it at www.tomgossmusic.com. Tom writes about many of the issues and problems we face as LGBT people.  After you listen to "Gay Christmas" you might decide to have a potluck type of holiday celebration with all of your friends who have not be invited home. In many ways we often must form our own families. My suggestion is for you to spend some time with your parents and then make a quick exit to join your friends.

Re: Tom Goss

IMO he isn't the most talented performer in the world, but he writes and sings songs which capture experiences we cannot count on hearing from straight performers. Just about every day we hear some negativism about US and it's nice to have a talented P.L.U. (Person Like Us) bringing problems to the surface with his music.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  P.S,  I've been wondering if anyone reads this blog/column. I would very much appreciate it if you would send a brief comment letting me know that you are reading what is printed here. Merely sending your initials would give me a count on what audience exists out there. Uncle RJ feels the same need for a head count.

Thanks....and Happy Holidays, no matter what holiday it is for you!