Dear Cousin Butchie,

I got myself into an internet mess. I went to a dating site and found a dude who was also going to be a freshman at the same college I would be at. I'm in NJ and he was still with his parents in Oregon. He explained to me that he was coming to NJ to start his "gay life" without explaining anything to his families and parents. We really seemed to hit it off online. We exchanged pictures, and we even talked on the phone discussing our values and everything two gay guys would talk about. We even arranged to be roomies.

That is the background.

Last month when I arrived at the school dorm, he had not arrived yet. We planned online to have dinner at a pricey restaurant. I thought it would be a good start. Wrong!!!

When I met JJ, he looked nothing like the picture he sent. He was wearing flip-flops and Bermuda shorts-- and his body was one enormous tattoo no matter where on his body I looked. He also smelled and had lots of unkempt facial hair.

He suggested that WE take a shower before going out for dinner. I agreed reluctantly. He was trying to get us to have some very intimate contact before dinner. I was able to put him off.

I have endured over three weeks living with him as my dorm mate. I have not allowed him to get intimate, and I find it crazy to try to speak to him. He then informed me that he had plans to bring home another dude and would appreciate it if I would vacate the room until 11 PM or later.

I don't want to get a reputation for being a pain in the ass, and I don't him to consider me an enemy. What am I supposed to do?

XX


Dear XX,

I know that arriving at college for the first time can be very scary. Add a totally unacceptable roommate to the picture, and you are compromising and subjecting yourself to a situation which is bound to make its toll on your grades.

 IMO there is a dorm monitor or someone in charge of dorm problems. You can go to him and tell him/her to help you get transferred to another room or maybe a different dorm. If they give you any noise, see the guidance officers (called by many different names). Tell them all the details.

Good luck!