Dear Cousin Butchie,

Hi, how are you? I am fine.

My b/f and I have been having an argument about Valentine's Day cards. I hope you can give a definitive answer.

My boyfriend's mother is very loving and accepting of our commitment. On the other hand, my mother is coldly cordial (at times) but is clearly unhappy about my sexual orientation and my friendship with my Mr. Right. I want to send my mom a Valentine's card signed by both of us. Since she doesn't really like my b/f he isn't keen on this idea. He tells me that his mom isn't supportive BUT that he will sign both our names on the card.

I am confused and befuddled. I know you're not Miss Manners, but what would you do?

Thank you,

MGG


Dear MGG,

This problem doesn't need to be as much of a problem as you're making it. Send your mom a card and sign your name. Have your b/f send a card which begins with the words "To someone special." She cannot find it offensive, and it retains a delicate balance (which her mind still needs). And when you send a card to your b/f's mom, MGG, sign both names OR you might also have your b/f send a "someone special" type card.

When Mother's Day approaches, I suggest the same approach.

Please write back and let us know how this works for you.