Dear Cousin Butchie,

I am totally freaked out and still in shock. I'll try to make this make sense.

I was diagnosed HIV Positive one week ago today. My family doctor gave me the news in a rather off-handed way and said that I'm lucky because HIV/AIDS is a very treatable disease and it is not a death sentence like it was in the past. I am 21 years old and have not told anyone about the diagnosis or how I'm feeling (like crap). My parents and family know I'm gay, and they always said that if I am happy, they are happy. BUT THEY BEGGED ME TO BE SAFE. Butchie, I thought I had done everything I needed to do to be safe. 

I have a few close friends who are JUST friends and we have never had sexual contact. I talked the talk with them, and they returned the favor. I guess we acted like seventh graders talking about sex. I know there was lots joking and exaggerations...the whole nine yards.

I am okay for a little while, and I have read just about everything online about HIV. Always quicker than I expect, I become incredibly sad and scared.

Please say something life changing. I trust you, Butchie...and you might even know who I am. But we can look at that in the future. Now, I want no one to know.

Thank you,
Shocked and Scared

DEAR SHOCKED AND SCARED. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL LIKE YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY A GARBAGE TRUCK. THE DOCTOR WHO DID THE TEST AND GAVE YOU THE RESULTS SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU SOME DETAILS ABOUT GETTING THE SERVICES YOU NEED AND HELPING YOU DEAL WITH THE SHAME, THE TRAUMATIC WAY YOU FEEL....AND EVERYTHING ELSE NECESSARY.

PLEASE LET ME GIVE YOU SOME FACTS AND RESOURCES WHICH WILL EASE THE CONFUSION AND SHOCK AND SHAME.  MIND YOU.... I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A SHRINK, AND THE INFORMATION I HAVE IS ONLY BECAUSE I KNOW SEVERAL GUYS LIKE YOU WHO TOOK THE HIV TESTING OUT OF CURIOSITY AND WERE SURPRISED AND FRANTIC AT THE NEWS.

First of all, did your family doctor give you the name(s) of infectious disease doctors in your area? There is one practice, in particular, which has been at the forefront in dealing with this issue from the time it was a "death sentence" until today when things are thankfully not  horrible or depressing or scary once you have the correct  information and the medical and psychological treatment which are essential for anyone with this diagnosis. THE KEY THOUGHT, I AM TOLD, IS TO REMEMBER THAT HIV/AIDS DOES NOT DEFINE YOU!!!

 IF YOUR DOCTOR DIDN'T RECOMMEND AN  INFECTIOUS DISEASE DOCTOR, LET ME KNOW AND I'll GIVE YOU THE NAME OF THE GROUP AND ITS CLOSEST OFFICES. THEY ARE CONVENIENT TO VIRTUALLY ANYONE IN THE MIDDLESEX, SOMERSET, MONMOUTH AND MORRIS COUNTY AREAS. YOU MAY CONTACT ME AT KIPPYNJ@AOL.COM for a more private reply for your search.

YOU WILL NEED TO BE TESTED AGAIN BY A SPECIALIST AND THIS DOCTOR WILL PRESCRIBE THE APPROPRIATE MEDS, AND YOUR VRAL LOAD WILL BE DETERMINED.  IN SHORT, GET HOOKED UP WITH A SPECIALIST AND FIND OUT HOW NJ PROVIDES MEDICAL COVERAGE FOR THE HIGHLY EXPENSIVE MEDS YOU WILL NEED. 

FOR THE INFORMATION OF ALL OUR READERS, THERE IS  NUMBER TO CALL FOR A GREAT DEAL OF INFORMATION. It's is a 24/7 SERVICE AT 1-800-624-2377.  YOU CAN ALSO GO ON LINE AT WWW.NJHIVSTDLINE.ORG.  AND COUSIN BUTCHIE CAN FIND YOU A COMPETENT SPECIALIST...JUST CONTACT HIM AT  KIPPYNJ@AOLCOM.

MY FRIEND, YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE THE BEST CARE....AND JUST THANK YOUR HIGHER POWER THAT YOU ARE LIVING AT A TIME WHEN HIV/AIDS IN MOST CASES IS AS EASY TO MANAGE AS DIABETES OR A HEART PROBLEM.

And just a word of encouragement.... There are still members of our GLBT (mostly the "G" part) who can forget their brothers and sisters who are facing the challenges of this disease which used to kill about 95% of the people who were diagnosed. The days of "attitude" are over, and you can fnd support groups which will provide friendships and counseling for living the rest of your long, long life with this condition.

My best to you,
Cousin Butchie