Dear Cousin Butchie,

How long can a healthy, athletic, gay male who is 19 years old go without having sex? It seems that my boyfriend and I have been in a great relationship for the past two years, but we had a very nasty fight a few days ago and have not spoken, much less been intimate, in over 47 hours. I know we were both wrong and said things which were pretty much exaggeratons. We have only seen each other at school when we change classes. He gives me half a smile and I return the gesture. I want this to be over because I really don't remember what caused the fight anyway. And I still love this guy.

Time is ticking away, and I feel that I just might explode physically and mentally if he keeps me cut off, if you understand what I'm saying.

What can I do? What will make him come to his senses?  (H E L P),

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

Cousin Butchie realizes that time is ticking away and you are becoming increasingly more frustrated by the moment. My first reaction is to suggest that your answer rests in your own hand(s). This practice will no longer give you warts or blindness or sap your strength. You might recall what I'm talking about if you recall how you handled things before you met your boyfriend.

One of my few straight friends tells me that his wife "cuts him off" whenever they have a major skirmish, but he says that he really doesn't want to have sex with her anyway... at least not for the time being before they reconcile.

I would venture to say that you can survive this crisis for a few more days if necessary. In a falling out of this kind, someone has to step up to the plate and apologize. It must be done seriously and honestly. Tell him how much you love him. Also, tell him the reasons you have been happily partnered for the past two years and that you want it to last for fifty more years. Hopefully, he will respond with some sort of apology of his own. DO NOT say that you've being going crazy not having bodily contact (or sex...I'm sure you'll phrase it correctly).

Cousin Butchie believes that if you make this kind of sincere apology, the boyfriend will react with forgiveness, and possibly an apology of his own. Swallow your pride and make the first move toward reconciliation.

I've heard from a number of bragging friends (males and females) that make-up carnal knowledge (sex) after an argument subsides is often hotter than hell. Give yourself a chance to find out.

Write me again to tell me that everything is back to normal. AND at this time and forever, let your boyfriend know that the love you have for him transcends sex. You certainly are not considering your relationship to be ONLY the result of frequent hot actions behind closed doors.

Good luck... and I refrained from writing it up to this point, but I do have to ask you why you have presented this with so much drama. You'll be happier and have fewer problems if you are not so much of a diva.