I walked into my older brother's (18) room and found him with his head on the keyboard.  I checked for a pulse, and I could tell he had just fallen into a deep sleep.

When I got my brother in bed, I sat down to see what he was reading.  OMG...he was reading your boring column. 

I thought you would want to know.

Baxter

Dear Baxter,

I  am sorry your brother fell asleep readng that column. I have read it over and admit it could have been shortened and edited a little..bu it would still be lengthy. I am thinking of marketing this column as a drugless Ambien for those needing rest.
Thank you for being my little ray of sunshine for today.