Hi Cousin Butchie,

I am a straight (as in heterosexual) high school junior. I belong to a Gay-Straight Alliance at my school, and some of the members introduced me to your column. I think it's cool the way you anwer questions, so I am asking one now. I am not gay and I hope that is understood from the start. I am a member of a gay-friendly religion and I have more than a few friends who have some out of the closet to me. I felt honored by their trust. I will be honest and admit that I had suspected two of them but the others were a total surprise to me.

When I heard that my high school has a G.S.A., I joined to support a very close friend of mine. He didn't believe that I accepted him and all GLBT people, so I joined this group to show him my sincerity. My life is getting screwed up by this one action on my part; joining the group.  My good friend now has almost come out and told me that he is in love with me and many of my straight friends cannot believe that I joined a G.S.A. if I am truly not gay. I am not a bad looking guy. My mom has told me that I look like a much younger version of Matt Damon. Of course, she also thinks my sister looks like a younger version of Meryl Streep (and she is spot on with that comparison). My dad has given me the "no matter what you're still my son and I love you" speech so I'm sure he thinks I'm gay. That's not a remark a father usually makes to a son who is an arsonist. I am so sorry I got inolved with this group. I do enjoy the meetings and I answer as many questions about straight dudes as they ask about GLBT people.

I am feeling very uncomfortable in my own skin these days. I play on the basketball and baseball teams, and I've been voted the most valuable player twice.

Please help me solve this problem.

Thanks!

STRAIGHT & ANONYMOUS

DEAR STRAIGHT & ANONYMOUS,

(before I go any further with this, you say you look like a younger version of Matt Damon. Be still my heart!  If you might ever want to go some place for coffee or anything at all, remember I'm around...... JUST KIDDING, but even the mention of Matt Damon's name gives me all kinds of lustful thoughts.)

I am sorry that your involvement with the G.S.A. at your school has turned out this way for you. I am sure that your very close friend has often wished in the past that you were gay and seeing you at a meeting only fanned the flames of his desires. It may not be easy, but you need to sit down and have a long talk with him. If you have a girlfriend (which you haven't mentioned so far), tell your gay friend about her. More importantly, explain that you were not born gay any more than he was born straight.

I would also take this problem to the faculty moderater of the group and ask for a meeting at which all of the heterosexual members can express themselves.

The problem with your straight friends can be eased by being very careful to be the most macho dude imaginable. I am not happy giving that last answer, but I'm not sure there's any other possible way to control them. ALSO, if it means that you need to see your close gay friend less often or not at all, I think it's a move you'll need to make.

To close by addressing everyone involved in this situation, I will merely use the words of lesbian icon Ellen Generous:

B E   K I N D   T O   E A C H   O T H E R