Dear Cousin Butchie,

I have had a miserable weekend and I have no reason why all of this crap has descended upon me.  I'm so aggravated that I may take a sick day from school.

On Friday, my father asked me to take out the recycling cans on Saturday morning.  Okay, I made sure I was awake in time to do my dad's job (mind you, this is what my mom expects HIM to do.)  Sure enough, I broke a nail on one of those damn lids.  My last manicure (mannycure?) was earlier in the week, and my hands looked fabulous.  Well, not any more.

Then I got an email from my BFF telling me that he wanted to be friends and nothing more.  He never even bothered to tell me face to face.  I was stunned by this announcement because we have been really tight for the last six weeks.  I helped this slob pick out clothes and tried to make hm look more presentable.  The dude he has hooked up with is another pig and they both should oink at people who greet them.

On Saturday afternoon, I needed to call information to get the number of a new P.L.U. (Person Like Us) in school who has set my gaydar off many times when I was only concentrating on the BFF.  Well, I went to dial 4-1-1 and I accidentally tapped in 9-1-1.  I exlained what had happened but the police still came to the house to check things out just in case there was a problem.  They knocked on the door and my mother started crying and telling me that they were here for me and that she could only imagine what I had done.  When the police left, I just screamed "WRONG' about ten times in my mother's face.  She never apologized.

On Sunday morning, I made an effort to please my parents and went to church with them.  The jackass of a clergypersn preached about the sacredness of marriage and he bellowed "BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN" six or seven times.  Most of the other people were asleep, as were my parents, but this clergyperson probably figured the preaching was for me anyway.

I spent the afternoon working on a school project I was supposed to be doing with the ex-BFF.  I don't know how to get him to finish it with me as planned.

Why has all of this happened to me at one time?  I am a good person. I have never tried to steal dad's car, and I never tried to trip grandma  and I tried to do dad's job with the recyclables.

What do you think of all this?

Trevor

Hey Trevor, everyone has a bad day or two once in awhile.  I will say that no one has ever written to me with so many awful problems.  Only kidding!

I think that you have had some annoying problems, but let's look at this realistically.  You did your dad a "favor" by taking out the recyclables.  Maybe  you would have prevented the tragic nail breakage if you had been experienced enough not to break a nail. You could do this chore weekly.

You had a split with your BFF whom you call a "slob."  That kind of doesn't sound too loving.

As for the church sermon/homily... I feel your pain.  In some churches and temples this can happen unexpectedly.  I suggest you bring ear plugs next time you  encounter this clergyperson.

Trevor, I can tell you very honestly (and with love) that I have never received an email or letter from anyone who has been as much of a drama queen as you appear to be.  From what I see, decent gay guys don't rush to date dudes with your kind of issues.  You may get more mature as you get older, but you need to work on your "problems" by recognizing them as basically egocentric events.  Pay attention to your "crises" and work on trying  to make yourself much less of a victim.

By the way... Were the police who responded to your house hot?  Cousin Butchie knows more than one who makes him tongue-tied when he tries to talk with them.