Hi Cousin Butchie,
I am a junior is high school. My grades are good and I have friends (gay and straight) who know I'm gay and treat me just like they treat each other. I guess I should feel lucky. The problem is that my father and I have always been very close. I actually enjoyed camping trips and fishing with him, and there is no doubt that Dad knew I was gay before I realized it myself. He was fine with it and so was my mom.

I just had the world come crumbling down on my wonderful gay world. My dad bought me a great used car. I put a rainbow bumper sticker on it and one for the Human Rights Campaign. When my dad saw the stickers he went apeshit. He told me to remove them from the car or he would take it back AND he would no longer support my to quote: "diabolical and filthy lifestyle." I don't want to lose the car, and I know my father well enough to be sure that he is reacting to some mindless propaganda from the haters in the area. These are the people who "love the sinner, but hate the sin" or some such bull. If I do follow dad's demands I wonder what the next issue will be.

I'm not sure what to do. My mom gets a weepy look whenever this subject comes up.

ALIEN in MY HOME

DEAR ALIEN,

You are facing a difficult situation with your father, and I have a strong feeling that they have encountered people of the "Cure the Gays" type religious groups. In the Catholic world they are called COURAGE. Jewish ignorant and irrational people exist in a group called JONAH. In the Protestant denominations there are also similar groups.

My advice to you, at this point in your life, is to remove the bumper stickers. See how your dad reacts. Possibly he will recant from any negative stereotyping if you grant this one request, if he continues, ask him what changed his views of GLBT people. Try to steer him to the PFLAG group in your area. In every group there are parents of various religions. They can find someone to relate to your dad (and mother it seems) and share stories. The outcomes are always good over a period of time.

Cousin Butchie just had another idea. You only have a little more than a year to deal with any parental problems. Keep things cordial and "loving" so that they don't deny helping with college tuition. Once you are at a decent college there will be a supportive gay community.

Be positive believing that this will all pass, but if it doesn't you can manage to live a double life for a year...knowing that freedom ad pride and love await you in what will seem like the blink of an eye....when you think about it at age 39!! Good luck, Alien!

P.S.  If you tell me where you live, I am fairly sure that I can reach clergypersons of all faiths who can help in dealing with your parents.