Dear Cousin Butchie,

My brother and I are ten years apart in age. I am the younger brother who has come out to my family. My older brother didn't react at all when I told him I was gay fifteen years ago. In fact, he joined initially in the harrassment I was getting from my family.  Yesterday, Christmas was uneventful beyond the usual gifts and food, but my brother started telling us about two girls he is seriosuly dating. He then asked me if I had "grown up" and stopped being a homosexual. Amidst total silence at the dinner table, I changed the subject.

Here's the problem with the entire situation. I signed on to a gay web site which features live guys on cam going as far as the viewer can pay enough to see. Several weeks ago, to my surprise, there was my big brother online, almost naked, and inviting viewers to pay to see him perform.

I have told a few of my friends, but I seriously want to confront (in front of my family) exactly what the supposedly heterosexual son is doing online.

I didn't do it on Christmas because I got so distracted by listening to him talk about his girlfriends.

Should I tell my family and let them see their older son in action? It would sure take some of the crap off of me.

Oh, and happy holidays!

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I realize the very tempting and aggravating situation you are in.  Before I would expose your brother to the entire family, why not have a talk with him and tell him that the jig is up.  He will protest at first, but let him know that if you keep quiet and he comes out to the family your relationship can become more solid as brothers.  I know it's very tempting to stop him from his charade, but make sure you give him the chance to redeem hmself.  If he refuses, call the police for protection and out him to your family.