Dear Cousin Butchie,

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving because I did not. I have been with my boyfriend for six months so he decided to ask his parents if I could join them for the holiday. They are uber-accepting parents, so it looked like the visit would be good.

My boyfriend and I have a wild sense of humor, but he used his supposed humor to belittle me in front of his entire family. He was the center of attention at dinner(he was more than a little toasted at the time and drinks a great deal of the time). He went into a few jokes about how stupid I am and then told them that I asked him why he closes his eyes when we kiss. They were in stitches when he told them that the answer was simple--he closes his eyes because I am so ugly.

I sat there while he told totally prevaricated(made up) stories about how I can't cook, don't wear the right kind of underwear, and how lucky I am to have him in my life.

What will ever mend the fences of his ugliness on Thursday?

Thank you,

Mitch

 

Dear Mitch,

In my opinion, your boyfriend is not showing much love or respect for you. His excuse might be that he was buzzed at dinner and didn't mean to say anything offensive, but you need to look at your entire relationship and decide if it's just the alcohol that makes him rude and abusive.  Trying to live a sane life with an active alcoholic is a no win situation. If this is the case, you need to move on. You don't need to put up with this kind of treatment. A relationship of six months isn't much time to invest in that commitment. You have been shown clear signals that this is probably not the right dude for you.

If you talk to him and he decides to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, you might give him another chance.