Dear Cousin Butchie,

I have a question about pornography. Let me start at the beginning. A few friends of mine (and I) enjoy watching gay porn sometimes.

Well, I don't know how it happened, but somebody left some of the dvds around and my mom found them and went ballistic. I just want another gay dude to give an opinion on this topic. It's safer to ask you online than to try to reason with mom myself.

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Since you are asking for my honest opinion, I believe that there is some gay porn which is excellent. By that I mean that it's exciting, interesting and the actors all seem to be enjoying themselves. Yes, Cousin Butchie has watched his share. After all, it's good to go along with the safest sex possible.

My advice to you and your friends is to show some discretion. Don't leave anything around for the parents to find.

Also, I have to add that everything is usually good in moderation. With some dudes porn becomes their entire lives. They isolate and dwell on what they had watched (over and over and over). Don't let it become something which consumes your life AND REALIZE THAT IT IS OFTEN A VERY IDEALIZED VIEW OF SEX-- AND NOTHING IN YOUR OWN REALITY IS GOING TO MEASURE UP TO IT. So... if you're going to buy it, remember to consider it entertainment and not a guide to how the vast majority of gay men act in real life.