ADAM, MY HERO

Two nights ago, Adam's Freshman Basketball Coach, John called me.  He reminded me that Adam's possible last game he would be suiting up for was the following evening at the States Playoff's where Manchester would be taking on Glen Rock at Glen Rock.  That was how the conversation started....this is where it went.

We both began to reminisce about the lanky, slightly uncoordinated, autistic freshman that was determined to try out for the basketball team.  To be honest, my husband and I did not originally encourage him.  We were trying to protect him as we knew that although he was extremely passionate, he just didn't seem to have the skill to make the team.  He was insistent like never before exerting his new found teenage know it all and so we prepared him for the inevitable.  We prepared him for the disappointment of not making the team and worked with him for days on this.  He would not have it, he somehow knew that HE WOULD MAKE THE TEAM and that we were absolutely wrong.

We reached out to the coach, John, so that we could tell him about Adam and prepare how we could let him down with the gentlest of care.  John, however, saw something different, it was Adam's passion that was greater than he had ever seen and he would put Adam on the team.  I'm not sure if it was his idea or mine but I insisted that I attend all practices so that I could make sure he didn't wander off or get hurt or  whatever, basically I was scared and paranoid for Adam about so many things.  The biggest was how his teammates would respond to him and treat him.  I NEEDED to be there.

Much to my surprise most of Adam's teammates immediately got it, that Adam was someone special, that he needed their help and they rose to the occasion.  (ok tears are already falling so this is going to be hard and hope you put up with me)  My husband and I have always affectionately referred to Adam as Pinocchio because all he has always wanted was to be a real live boy like all the others and struggled for years accepting his Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Before my eyes, which were always peeking over the top of the book I was "reading" during practice I got to witness Adam's dreams come true.

Many of you know that as an infant Adam had changed the world.  It was protecting him that made us sue the State of New Jersey and make New Jersey the first state in the nation to allow gay and unmarried couples to jointly adopt children.  However, Adam continues to change the world by defying preconceived notions of what it means to be on the Autistic Spectrum.

So as it turned out, the Manchester Regional High School Falcons lost by one point, at literally the last second, to the Glen Rock Panthers.  It was Adam's last time in a High School Varsity Basketball Uniform.  He is still so passionate about basketball but unfortunately college is not in his future so he is probably finished as a player.  He talks about coaching etc as he copes with this new reality.

I write this today for two reasons.  First and foremost is for my miraculous son Adam.  Pinocchio no longer as Basketball Superstar will forever replace that metaphor.  I am so incredibly proud of Adam I feel like my chest could burst, HE IS MY HERO.

Secondly, I need to recognize all the staff, coaches, players and students of Manchester Regional High School that took the time to change one person's life in such a positive way.  I sat at the game against Glen Rock and listened as former players that have moved on with their lives relived their glory days as Falcon Basketball Players and it reminded me that Adam's dream will live forever so last night was not the end but only the beginning.

Finally, If I have learned anything from this experience is to listen more to our children, special or not, as they can simply amaze us in ways we will never foresee.

JON HOLDEN GALLUCCIO, AUTHOR OF “AN AMERICAN FAMILY” WITH MICHAEL GALLUCCIO AND DAVID GROFF. HE HAS THREE CHILDREN AND THREE GRANDCHILDREN.  HE RESIDES WITH MICHAEL ( HIS HUSBAND OF 31 YEARS) AND TWO OF THEIR CHILDREN IN NORTH HALEDON.  THEY ARE BOTH ELECTED OFFICIALS IN NORTH HALEDON.  JON CAN BE CONTACTED AT 973-573-4344, ON FACEBOOK: JON HOLDEN GALLUCCIO  @njgayfamilyON TWITTER.