Dear Cousin Butchie,

I am 18 years old and I have a really hot boyfriend.  I shouldn't neglect to say that I am pretty hot myself. The problem is that we are both versatile in all of the sexual components of our relationship.  My hunk says he really doesn't care if we use rubbers or not. He's also said that he prefers things "bareback" but will do as I wish. He says he'll go along with using them if I buy them.  I am really scared to do this.  Some pharmacies put them behind the counter so you have to ask for them.  If they are on the rack, I always seem to see a female cashier.  What can I do, and is this really so important?  We both are monogamous and we've been together three months.

Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed,

First of all, I'm glad you have found a boyfriend and that the sexual component is "versatile."  Sometimes this is a problem, and it becomes a sad game of "who's the husband and who's the wife"?  Three months is not enough time to know if you and your boyfriend are HIV negative, so using condoms is essential.   You can't neglect these little safequards until you've been together monogamously for over six months.... and you really need to trust each other.  The stakes are too high otherwise.

Buying condoms in a pharmacy was a problem in the past, but I think it's safe to say that you buy a few other items and throw in the box of condoms.  Best bet is to go to a large chain pharmacy, possibly out of town.  Of course, a male cashier would be nice, but pharmacy employees are instructed never to comment on your purchases of this nature.

Another  few suggestions:  Buy a large supply so you're not facing this fear again too soon.  Also, don't go to the pharmacy where your family gets prescriptions filled.

I give you credit for wanting to act responsibily.  Your boyfriend's attitude isn't too cool, so I might suggest that you find a good moment and see how often he has not used condoms in the past. Testing is always a great idea, even if if might cause you some nervousness.