Adam wants to be a rapper!

Adam says “ I can say nigger and bitch when I rap right?”

 “OMG, NO and you know I hate that word!” I reply.

“What word?”

“Nigger”

“Dad” Adam says exasperated “I didn’t say nigger, I said NIGGA and that’s cool right?”

So that is how my 10 minute commute to Adam’s basketball camp began this morning.  Clearly I will remember to have 2 cups of coffee before getting in the car with him again!

I wanted to share that because spectrum kids seem to have a more difficult time with language and I’m hoping I can shed some light here because it is becoming more or a challenge.

The other evening at dinner with my in-laws, my mother in-law said “Boy are they milking her for all she’s worth!”  Adam exclaimed “What?!? They are MILKING HER?? Why?”  Of course it’s hard not to explode into a roar of laughter but when we did settle down, once again we were explaining to Adam what the “silly” expression actually meant.

Sitting at a restaurant in Little Italy with a friend visiting from California, Adam leans in to hear what Paul is asking him.  “Rate those girls at the other table, 1, 2 3” said Paul “What?” “Rate them” he repeated.  Adam looked at me horrified and said “Dad he wants me to RAPE those girls, tell him no!”

So even if an expression is clear, if it doesn’t make sense Adam will change it up to make sense.  He didn’t understand what “rate those girls” meant but he did understand when he changed the t to a p.

Now that Adam is getting older, 16 next month!, he is becoming more independent.  He’s craving more independence than he actually gets but that will change.  I wonder though how many things Adam hears that just don’t make any sense and what would it be like if I wandered the world like that.  After all it’s the same world out there but the way he needs to negotiate it is so vastly different from how I do.

I will never completely “get it” but I’m on my way to understanding just what it is he goes through. I have to remember that “his eyes” see things differently than mine and just because he’s Autistic, because he’s an individual.  The lessons I learn from Adam everyday help me to be a better person because they apply to all of us.

I will leave you with this one.  For years Adam has had a hard time with what’s real and what isn’t.  We have told him thousands of times that what you see on TV isn’t real……now he want’s us to explain the Kardashians because “they’re real and they’re on TV!” My reply “The Kardashians don’t count!”

JON HOLDEN GALLUCCIO, AUTHOR OF “AN AMERICAN FAMILY” WITH MICHAEL GALLUCCIO AND DAVID GROFF, IS A FINANCIAL SERVICES REPRESENTATIVE WITH METLIFE. HE RESIDES WITH MICHAEL AND TWO OF THEIR CHILDREN IN NORTH HALEDON.