Our Blogs

Not Expecting any Happy Holidays!

Dear Cousin Butchie and Uncle RJ, I hope it's okay to write to the both of you at one time. I need all of the encouragement and positivity I can get, and I assume I am not the only one. I read that this is the first time in 40 years that both ...

Tried to Come Out on Thanksgiving to a Dysfunctional Family....UGH!

Dear Cousin Butchie, I am 17 years old and I tried to come out to my family on Thanksgiving at dinner. Since I've been reading your blogs that kept nagging at my psyche to come out once and for all. It would be over and, usually in time, my family ...

Our President-Elect

Dear Cousin Butchie, I looked forward to this month's election because it was the first time I have ever been old enough to vote. My hopes and dreams were shattered when Hillary Clinton won the popular vote but lost the electoral vote to Donald ...

A Vegetarian at the Gym-Ultimate Grill

I have to say that I’ve never eaten in a gym before. I wasn’t planning on it today. I was going to work out at the gym before continuing on to school (That’s the massage school I’ve been attending for the past year). I ...

The Truth Can Leave You Without a Date

Hey, Cousin Butchie! I wrote to you long ago about the best way to find a date and relationship or both. You advised me to be honest so that other guys looking for special friends would trust me once they met me. It made sense. Who wants to think ...

A Vegetarian in Miami - Seasons 52

Who doesn't like a little excitement? I love to be excited about food. Not just excited at the prospects of satisfying hunger, but excited by the potential of the experience of eating itself, and then being excited by the process in many aspects. I ...

A Vegetarian in Miami - Full Bloom Vegan Restaurant

Lunch today was exciting, but dinner tonight was an adventure. We would soon see whether that was because of the food, or other factors. It's our last night in Miami, the conference is over. All our old and new friends are gone. My husband Joe and I ...

The Online B/F Was a Total Disappointment

Dear Cousin Butchie, I got myself into an internet mess. I went to a dating site and found a dude who was also going to be a freshman at the same college I would be at. I'm in NJ and he was still with his parents in Oregon. He explained to me that ...

Telling Younger Brother About Safe Sex.... Should I tell him or not?

Dear Cousin Butchie, This is a somewhat involved question, but there is no one who can be trusted in my highly dysfunctional family. I mean, I love my parents, but they are so dysfunctional they should get an award. I am 17 and openly gay. My ...

Can This Work?

Dear Cousin Butchie, I have been dating a dude in my class. Everything is totally fabulous and I believe we will have a great future together. The chemistry is over the top. We both plan careers in nursing because male nurses are usually so rare. ...

Five Weeks Before School and I am Bored

Hey Cousin Butchie, It's about five weeks before prep school classes start again, and I am bored out of my mind. I've done everything on my bucket list for the summer, and now I just watch the daytime game shows and play video games. Any ...

Coming Out Is Really Complicated

Dear Cousin Butchie, I feel very stupid and helpless right now. I thought I had a great plan for staying in the closet for as long as I needed to and then surprising everyone with the news when I jumped out of that closet. I'm psyched to come out ...

Turning Down a Troll

Hey, Cousin Butchie! Before school starts again I need to ask your advice on how to handle a dude who finds me to be his Mr. Right! All last year I knew that this weird boy in most of my classes has been flirting with me. I have been as kind as ...

A Vegetarian in Aruba - Papiemento

A vegetarian-friendly sounding menu doesn't guarantee a satisfying meal, and a vegetarian-unfriendly one doesn't forebode a bad one. I have been to Papiemento on the island of Aruba before, and I can't tell you what I had. But I do have pleasant ...

Cousin Butchie Asks Uncle RJ's Opinion. WOW!

Posted by Uncle RJ Comments (0)
Hello, my faithful and wonderful readers. I appreciate the fact that you read my advice blog, and I ask you to indulge me this time in asking (again) for some words of wisdom from Uncle RJ. I'll ask him his opinion and see how he replies. Uncle ...

A Yogi in Aruba - Part Three

It's Friday morning. Our last full day in Aruba. It's 7:50 and the sun is brightly shining. This hasn't happened in a few days. I want to go immediately to the beach but I go to the 8 am yoga class, hoping the sun will burn off the bugs, or at least ...

Dictates by Uncle RJ On PRIDE 2016

Happy Pride Weekend to all of our readers. I will not hesitate to let Uncle RJ write in this space. He bribed me.. LOL. It is expected that this will be the largest NY Gay Pride Parade ever. Gone are the days when the parade started up in the ...

From a Very Worried Mom

Cousin Butchie, I am writing to you because I know that you are around my son's age-- and because he has let me read some of your blogs. I don't know where else to turn because my son is out of the closet, but I am not! I just don't have the right ...

Orlando Massacre of OUR Brothers and Sisters

ORLANDO MASSACRE OF OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS I asked my Uncle RJ how the murder of so many people could have happened in the United States in 2016. It is not the absolute worst murderous event to occur in the world-- ISIS has been victimizing ...

Memorial Day for Me

Hello, Cousin Butchie! Today is Memorial Day, and it's also very close to the anniversary of when my brother died from the complications of A.I.D.S. back in 1996. The new drugs didn't arrive to take effect soon enough. I am still devastated by his ...

A Yogi in Aruba, Part Two

It's Wednesday morning, my sixth day of vacation. I didn’t go to the yoga class on Monday morning. I'm at the 8:00 yoga class on the grass now. It's very cloudy and looks as if it will rain any second. Alia, the yoga teacher, is happy to see ...

The Bathroom Issue

Dear Cousin Butchie, Help!!! I am out to just about everyone at my all boys high school. I know that sounds like paradise to some guys, and I'm proud to say that I have experienced no problems or discrimination. I know that I am really lucky and ...

NOT the Best Mother's Day Ever!

Dear Cousin Butchie, Because Mother's Day has already happened I was not going to write to you, but I think holidays will always stink unless I get some handle on the problem now in 2016. My boyfriend and I went to my mother's house for dinner on ...

Roomate Aggravation

Dear Cousin Butchie, I honestly never thought I would write to you for advice, but this problem has me going totally crazy. I am a freshman at a local university which I will not name (but President Obama will be the graduation speaker L.O.L.). My ...

Transgender Quandry

Dear Cousin Butchie, I am writing to you because I have read your blogs in NJ Gay Life... and I don't know who else to discuss things with. I am gay, and my parents took a little time to get comfortable with this "news" but they quickly educated ...

In Love with My Teacher

Dear Cousin Butchie, I hope you can help me with this problem because no one else even takes me seriously. I am 16 years old and attend a private school. I am absolutely and undoubtedly in love with one of my teachers. He is super handsome, ...

Vatican Still Doesn't Really Get It

Posted by RJ Comments (0)
Dear Uncle RJ, I know your nephew, Cousin Butchie... and I don't think he is smart enough to answer my question. Don't tell him I said that, but it is true. So... What is your opinion of the latest statements from Pope Francis on April 8, 2016? ...

A Yogi in Aruba, Part One

It's Friday the Thirteenth, and my first morning in Aruba. I saw on the board last night when we got to the hotel that there was a yoga class at 8 this morning. That's 7 New Jersey time. I haven't done yoga that early in the morning in years. But ...

5 Spring Cleaning Tips to Purge Clutter

March 20 is the first day of spring. Do you look forward to annual spring cleaning, or dread it? Or just skip it all together? Don't feel overwhelmed. No one says you have to spring clean your entire home in one day or weekend. Take it in small ...

Horrendous TV Show

Hi Cousin Butchie! I am a Catholic priest and wish to remain anonymous. For the record, I am liberal, loving and gay. I also abhor the sex scandals and the men in the hierarchy who made it all worse by moving pedophile priests from parish to ...

Oscars, the Deadly Grouches and Hope with Hillary

Original article appeared in the Huffington Post. See it here. It's Oscar time and did you know that the very first transgender performer to be nominated for an Academy Award boycotted the event? Anohni, the first transgender performer to be ...

Answering Their Questions

Dear Cousin Butchie, The question I need to ask you has really been ticking me off for weeks. I waited to ask you because I was trying to figure out how to handle it myself. So... I am asking you, and I hope you don't find my question silly or ...

Valentine's Day Card for Mother-in-law

Dear Cousin Butchie, Hi, how are you? I am fine. My b/f and I have been having an argument about Valentine's Day cards. I hope you can give a definitive answer. My boyfriend's mother is very loving and accepting of our commitment. On the other ...

Disabled and Need Advice

Dear Cousin Butchie, I am disabled due to M.S. I am retired and unable to work. My choices were: Move home with my parents, move into assistaed living, or stay in my home and pay someone to help me. I chose the third. After many interviews, mostly ...

A Vegetarian in Aruba: The Screaming Eagle

I'm not hard to please, even as a vegetarian in a tourist spot. But there are a few things that will make me very happy. Put me on the menu. Acknowledge that I exist and that I lead a legitimate, honorable lifestyle. Give me flavor. Prepare and ...

Trans Lunacy or Just Media Lunacy?

'The Grinch who stole the trans movement:' Transgender solider Chelsea Manning launches Christmas attack against Caitlyn Jenner for her behavior after coming out. So now is this incarcerated military felon the new self appointed voice of the ...

Feeling Very Sad and Guilty

Dear Cousin Butchie, I read your blog/column all the time, and it helps me sometimes to understand questions about living my life as a gay young man. Right now I need advice of a different kind, and I don't want to share this with my family or ...

Breaking Up

Dear Cousin Butchie, I have a question I need answered, but I think I know what your answer will be. Well, here goes. I've been in a relationship of sorts for the past thirteen months. My b/f is handsome and hot and plays on the basketball team. ...

To Go or Not to Go

Dear Cousin Butchie, My problem is probably so different and unique that you won't have an answer, but here goes.... I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We are both freshmen in college, and the relationship has been good to ...