Our Blogs

Paralyzed By Fear - Bowling

I hate sports. I've always hated sports. I hated gym class. I hated gym class because I hate sports. I hate sports because I never learned to play them well. But there’s more on that in another post. I was on a bowling league about thirteen ...

Should I Tell on My Closeted Gay Brother

Dear Cousin Butchie, My brother and I are ten years apart in age. I am the younger brother who has come out to my family. My older brother didn't react at all when I told him I was gay fifteen years ago. In fact, he joined initially in the ...

Yoga On a Helipad

Back at sea, somewhere off the coast of Cuba. I got up early for the second yoga class. This one was taught by a young Scottish man named James. He was delighted to inform us that we had the captain's permission to go out onto the helipad. The ...

Yoga on a Boat-Part 2

It was a day at sea, somewhere between Nassau, Bahamas, and St. Thomas USVI. I got up at 7:00 and headed down to the gym at 7:45 as I was instructed to do when I signed up for yoga. I signed up with Matja, one of the fitness instructors, when I ...

Yoga on a Boat Part 1

I'm on a really, really big ship named The Oasis of the Seas with over 6,000 passengers. We are somewhere between Nassau and St. Thomas. I decided to waste away the afternoon at sea in the gym instead of napping like my three other cabin mates were ...

Paralyzed By Fear-Yoga Under an Airplane

I did it. We are in Sint Maarten. Joe and I departed from our traveling companions who went to Orient Beach and got in a Taxi for Maho Beach which is the one at the end of the runway(see my earlier post Paralyzed By Fear-Yoga On an Airplane). The ...

Paralyzed By Fear-Yoga on an Airplane

Overcome By Fear - Yoga on an Airplane I have a love-hate relationship with flying. I loved watching planes take off and land long before I ever rode in one. The whole concept of flying has always fascinated me. My parents used to take me and my ...

Paralyzed By Fear–Part Six-Looking Like a Fool

I think it’s our greatest fear. I think we fear being taken as a fool greater than we fear death. We all know what it feels like to be the fool, to sound like an idiot, to be embarrassed, and to feel the skin start to heat up and the back of ...

Do I Deserve This?

Dear Cousin Butchie, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving because I did not. I have been with my boyfriend for six months so he decided to ask his parents if I could join them for the holiday. They are uber-accepting parents, so it looked like the ...

National AIDS Remembrance Day

Dear Readers, Today we are celebrating WORLD A.I.D.S. DAY. In most respects, this has not attracted much attention in the media, and it's almost a good thing. A.I.D.S. was a "legacy" that our older LGBT were afraid that they were passing down to ...

Paralyzed By Fear – Part Five – Dressing Up

I hate dressing up. Those who get to know me know that the less I wear the better. It’s been that way as far back as I can remember. In this picture, I was five. The look on my face isn’t only from the sun in my eyes. Perhaps I hated ...

Paralyzed By Fear – Part Four - Sports

I hate sports. I’ve always hated sports. Well, okay, I can downgrade that to I never developed an appreciation of sports. I don’t remember any time in my life when I enjoyed tossing a ball around. I never learned how to catch a ball or ...

Paralyzed By Fear - Part Three - Performing

In a recent post I wrote about my early developing fears of performing at piano recitals when I was young. Soon after that post I performed in a concert with a friend. I decided to use the event to study my fear, and to attempt to overcome it, at ...

Is This Fair? Of course it's not!

Dear Cousin Butchie, I am writing to you because I am 15+ years old and need the advice of someone like you who is gay and close to my age. My parents know that I am gay, but we've never had a big discussion about it. It's kind of like the ...

Wedding Announcements

Dear Cousin Butchie, I need your advice. I am 16 years old and in a very serious relationship. I know for sure that I will be together with my boyfriend forever. He and I were discussing a future wedding, and he told me that we shouldn't have a ...

Paralyzed by Fear – Part Two

Paralyzed by Fear – Part Two I can’t remember a time that I didn’t play the piano. My parents told me that when I was six, and sister would come home from piano lessons to play what she learned, I would follow after her and play ...

A Jewish Mother's Concern

Dear Cousin Butchie, Since this is our Jewish celebration of the new year, I decided to tell you something which I am sure many other Jewish gay guys have experienced. I assume that anyway. After coming out to my kind of secular Jewish parents, I ...

I Think I'm in Big Trouble Now

Dear Cousin Butchie, I am in deep trouble, and I want to ask you how to go about making things better. I have no one else I can trust with the details of this problem. I am a gay teenager. I knew I was gay for sure when I was 12, I acted on it ...

Paralyzed by Fear – Part One

par·a·lyze To affect with paralysis; cause to be paralytic. To make unable to move or act: paralyzed by fear. To impair the progress or functioning of; make inoperative or powerless: strict regulations that paralyze economic ...

Question About Porn

Dear Cousin Butchie, I have a question about pornography. Let me start at the beginning. A few friends of mine (and I) enjoy watching gay porn sometimes. Well, I don't know how it happened, but somebody left some of the dvds around and my mom ...

My Brother is Gay and That's OK

Dear Cousin Butchie, I am not GLBT but my brother is and I want to let him know that it's not a problem for me. I honestly sort of snooped into his computer so that he might read this. I hope it works. I do know he reads this NJGayLife.Com ...

Am I Too Old for Yoga?

No one is too anything for yoga. Practicing yoga wisely is good at any age. An exploration of deepening and linking breath with movement to just the right depth is great for people as they age. How do you know how deep to go? You take a movement as ...

My Heart is Broken

Hi, Cousin Butchie, I hope you can help me. I am a sophomore in high school, and last April I fell madly in love with another dude in my school. He was my first in every sense and we became inseparable. I was not uncomfortable beeing seen with him ...

My Visit to Buck Naked Yoga in Cleveland

I recently made a trip to visit family in Ohio. I knew there was a men’s yoga class that met on the near west side of Cleveland. I called the owner, Buck Harris, just to make sure of the time of the class and I decided to go. I didn’t ...

My Ayurveda Experience – Day 7 - The Final Day

I’m finished! Seven days of therapy. I’m sure that I will need to take some time to let my body properly respond to everything. I think today was the longest I was there, though. The oil therapy seemed to go on for a long time. Then ...

My Ayurveda Experience – Days 5 and 6

Friday I went at my normal time, did all the same therapies, and got home in 15 minutes, as usual. I was a bit worried when, on the way to the center, I passed the Parkway Southbound which was crowded and creeping along. Fridays in the summer are ...

My Ayurveda Experience – Day 4

Today seemed to go very fast. We still took 90 minutes, it just flew by. I told the therapist that I woke up at 4 AM with my throat burning. I have had a sore throat off and on over the last month, and that was not unusual. He told me that after the ...

My Ayurveda Experience – Day 3

I’m really enjoying this. I talked briefly with my therapist about my experience yesterday, then I asked him his name. He told me and tried to get me to pronounce it correctly. I think I did pretty well. There’s a vowel where you have to ...

My Ayurveda Experience – Day 2

Today was my second day of therapies. They were the same six therapies, just stronger. It was with the same therapist. I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know his name. We have now spent three hours together with his hands pretty much ...

The last full week in July was an incredible week for transpeople in America

On Monday July 21, 2014 President Obama signed an executive order doing 2 things. First, it added “gender identity” an existing executive order protecting gay and lesbian federal workers from discrimination thus protecting transgender ...

My Gay Cousin's Advice

Dear Cousin Butchie, I have no real problem hooking up with another guy for a date. The problem is how the conversation goes when we're having dinner or coffee or whatever. I have noticed that most gay dudes will inevitably tell all or part of ...

My Ayurveda Experience – Day 1

Ayurveda is a system of Hindu traditional medicine. Its roots are said to be over 4000 years old. The practice of Ayurveda seeks to bring the body’s biological setup into balance, thus bringing health. It is the sister science of yoga. I ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 24

This week hasn't been too bad. I’ll say that about half the time I drive I start out breathing and can pretty much eliminate the distraction of other drivers annoying me, and the length of stoplights making me angry. I will consider this great ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 21

You win a few, you lose a few. It only took 21 days, but today I was driving to the library to teach yoga, and I started breathing before anything distracted me and annoyed me. I did that for the whole 20 minute drive there. I couldn’t believe ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 20

Saturday was a busy day. We took the dogs to the dog park. That was fun. Talk about distractions. Try finding your Corgi in a sea of 24 other Corgis. It was amazing that I could always recognize their barks even though it took me a while to pick ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 18

I had a day off and it was a stunningly beautiful day. Last year I vowed to get to the beach before September, which was the first time I got there last year. So I went. Several things helped me be less distracted by annoying things. I wasn’t ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 17

I seem to be developing a new habit, and that is good. The habit, however, is not the one I planned. I seem to get annoyed at pretty much anything, and then do the breathing exercise to undo the effects of getting annoyed. My plan was to do the ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 16

My plan was delayed. Well, ok, I forgot about the planning ahead to stop the distractions before they happen until I was already on the road. And the distractions were the plagues that they usually are. There must be some way of reminding myself. ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 15

Day 14 was a rather busy day. So I’m just going to combine it with Day 15. The TV is on. My husband is watching Judge Judy. Yes, it’s a distraction. I want to watch it, but I’m looking forward to finishing this post and going ...

The Times They Are A Changin'

Dear Cousin Butchie, I am in real predicament, and I might as well agree to let you settle it. Two dudes who have been my friends for years are taking the big step and getting married in August. I am honestly closer to Mike than I am to Jim, but ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 13

I took a couple of days off for my birthday. I didn’t turn on the TV. It was on in the diner we went to after bowling on Friday. I kept looking at it for no reason other than it was on. After a while I stopped and focused on enjoying my ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 10

Plans can be a distraction. Yesterday I planned to head off distractions. That will have to wait for another, less distracting, day. I think I’m becoming attached to my sore throat. It’s been eight days. It’s finally letting up, ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 9

So what were today’s distractions and how can I overcome them? My throat is still sore. It’s been sore a week now. That’s a big distraction. Mainly because it hurts. How to overcome it? Trust that it will get better I suppose. But ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 8

sa tu dīrghakāla nairantarya satkāra-ādara-āsevito dṛḍhabhūmiḥ Practice becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time, without break and in all earnestness. I rode to work today with ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 7

Tatra Sthitau Yatnah Abhyasa Of these, effort toward steadiness of mind is practice. So this isn’t just an experiment. If I’m going to achieve this less distracted mind, I’m going to have to stick with it. Train my mind. I ...

Uncle RJ Remembers He Has a Column/Blog Here!

Posted by Uncle RJ Comments (0)
Dearest Readers...About three years ago, when Bonnie was looking for a blogger, she was steered in my direction by my fabulous friend (H.L. from Westfield). The theme was generally supposed to be a blog on living on in the LGBT community once the ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 6

Abhyasa vairagyabhyam tan nirodhah These mental modifications are restrained by practice and non-attachment. I made it a whole day yesterday without going on any of my chat apps. That took some practice. Actually I failed three times. I opened one ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 5

pramāṇa viparyaya vikalpa nidrā smṛtayaḥ Insight, error, imaginings, deep sleep, and recollections. These are the five kinds of mental modifications mentioned in yesterday’s sutra. The mental modifications that ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 4

vṛttayaḥ pañcatayyaḥ kliṣṭākliṣṭāḥ There are five kinds of mental modifications which are either painful or painless. So these distractions can be painful. That’s pretty ...

Why do they all seem to disappear?

Greetings to all of my countless readers and fans! I have taken a seemingly long hiatus from writing on this blog because I was waiting for questions and comments from readers. Now that a number of you have written to me at www.KippyNJ.com instead ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 3

vṛtti sārūpyam-itaratra At other times the self assumes the forms of the mental modifications. I hear often that we are what we eat. I think more often it’s true that we become what we pay attention to. It would make sense ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 2

tadā draṣṭuḥ svarūpe-'vasthānam Then the Seer (the self) abides in his own nature. Yoga Sutra number three. It’s at the beginning, so it must be important. Yesterday’s was number two. I’m here in ...

A Month of Less Distraction – Day 1

yogaḥ citta vṛtti nirodhaḥ The ancient text, the Yoga Sutras, or threads about yoga, says that yoga is the restraint of the modifications of the mindstuff. For the sake of some simplicity, let’s say that yoga is lessening the ...

The Hairy Vegetarian in Matawan - Maloney's Pub

I love eating out locally. Two friends and I were at a meeting near my house and we were looking for a place near home to eat. I remembered going to Maloney’s Pub & Grill in Matawan a while back and suggested it. One of the most ...

The Hairy Vegetarian - Gazpacho

Gazpacho Liquid summer. That’s what I call gazpacho. Either that or liquid lunch, but that’s something quite different. Gazpacho is a Spanish cold soup. It’s best when you make it in the summer because it is cool, and it’s ...

The Hairy Vegetarian - What Does a Vegetarian Eat? Babaganouj

I love eggplant. And it’s a good thing. Since I do, I have a lot more options for eating at a restaurant, a diner, and at other peoples’ houses. One of my favorite eggplant dishes is the Middle Eastern dip, babaganouj. 2 rather large ...

Why I Make Yoga Videos

Why Do I Make Yoga Videos? I started making yoga videos and putting them on YouTube to inspire guys to do yoga. I figured if they could see another guy who’s not young, who’s not thin, and who’s not very limber doing yoga and ...

The Hairy Vegetarian - What Does a Vegetarian Eat for Lunch? Guacamole

What Does a Vegetarian Eat for Lunch? Guacamole I love guacamole. And when you make it at home it’s so much better than the kind you can buy premade in the store. Plus, think of all the preservatives and other things they add when it has to ...

The Hairy Vegetarian in New Brunswick - Tumulty's

When you think of vegetarians and eating at restaurants you might not think of an Irish pub. I’ve been going to Tumulty’s in New Brunswick since I was a student at Rutgers in 1988. Of course it’s the perfect place for a pint of ...

The Hairy Vegetarian in Edison - Urban Spice

I love going to Indian restaurants. I love flavor, spices, and hot food. Since I’ve become a vegetarian I like them even more. I can always count on lots of flavorful vegetarian options. One of my favorite restaurants in Central Jersey is ...

The Hairy Vegetarian in Freehold - El Meson

Last night five friends and I went out to celebrate a couple of birthdays at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants in Central New Jersey, El Meson in Freehold. The place has been there for many years. I’ve enjoyed sitting outside next to the ...

Now He Says He is Giving Up Sex for Lent

Dear Cousin Butchie, I am Dan the Agnostic, and I wrote to you last month about my boyfriend's overly and sickeningly distressing religious beliefs and fervor. You gave a sensible and workable plan but (now, I will name him) Anthony Joseph ...

The Hairy Vegetarian in Jamesburg - Fiddleheads Restaurant

One of my favorite things to do is eat out with friends. It’s always interesting to explore the various restaurants in New Jersey. Equally interesting, sometimes exciting, and sometimes awkward, is discovering the vegetarian and vegan options ...

Alice/Madison is the real star........

Recently (ok last night!) Manchester Regional High School produced "Alice in Wonderland". Michael and I had been approached early if we would "help" (which translates to create ALL of them) since we had "helped" out last year when they put on "Snow ...

Wild and Crazy Yoga

There are a lot of things yoga people do with their bodies that are wild and crazy. They stand on their head, on their hands. They twist their bodies into pretzels. A lot of people think that in order to do yoga you have to do all those wild and ...

Autistic Kid or Basketball Superstar....You Decide

ADAM, MY HERO Two nights ago, Adam's Freshman Basketball Coach, John called me. He reminded me that Adam's possible last game he would be suiting up for was the following evening at the States Playoff's where Manchester would be taking on Glen Rock ...

His Parents Think They Are Holier Than God

Dear Cousin Butchie, My boyfriend and I are both sophomores in college. We've been in a relationship since the second week of our freshman year. I am very sure that my boyfriend is a keeper, but his family is driving me nuts. His mother is a very ...

My Uncle is a Perv

Dear Cousin Butchie, I am 19 years old and very happily gay. Stereotypes are unfair, I know, but people have never had any reason to suspect that I'm gay except for two dudes I experimented with years ago, and we are still best friends with ...

Yoga in Daily Life, Part 7 – Yoga and Blood

You can call me a wuss. I’m fully aware of it. I don’t like blood. I don’t like to see it, think about it, talk about it. I remember the first time I had to have blood taken in my adult life. I was 37. I worried about it for days. ...