Posted by Cousin Butchie helping Uncle RJ (Just with about 88% of my input) on Wednesday, February 15, 2017

This letter has been translated by a friend who was able to translate from Polish to English. I am very grateful to her for volunteering.

Dear Cousin Butchie,

I have just moved to the United States to be with my boyfriend of six years. We are both 23 years old and met during music summer seminars, which really improved upon our proficiency with the music, but also created a bond between between us which only musicians can fully understand.

In many ways, Bogie and I are learning more about each other and almost setting the stage for our wedding. In the past we lived together during the summer months and were sharing our music and our thoughts, hopes and dreams, as well as our plans for a marriage. We e-mailed a great deal between the regular school semesters and talked a lot by phone. Bogie's parents and family are wonderfully accepting of us and our plans. BTW my family is somewhat unique. While they are active in their Roman Catholic parish, but we liked one another from the very start, and Bogie's parents have had a belief system which they find workable for themselves and the God they understand as a non-judgemental and loving parent. They compare their situation to that of their friends who have made thoughtful decisions about birth control and divorce. By using their conscience(s) they can opt out of feeling sinful or wrong in their understanding of God. Since my own parents are equally as loving and rational, we have a relationship which seems headed for the altar. I should add that when Pope Francis was elected to the papacy he made some wonderfully surprising statements about keeping away from matters of little or no real importance AND making our spiritual beliefs in sync with what's important and what isn't so important if this church (and many others) are going to remain important and the ones which have not been major concerns of the people... and we must realize that stealing $5 is not something of the same importance as abusing a child.

To clarify all the words you've just read, Pope Francis told people of all faiths not to pick a few "sins" and focus so much on the current issues. In the American Catholic Church, the three subjects which don't need to be treated as the reason(s) for a crisis. The reference is made to gay marriage, abortion and who is worthy to receive Communion and those who aren't. There's plenty more issues of far deeper concern to God than what we all were probably taught in primary school.


With the love and unity we should all pursue... and never leave out a vital part of any search for understanding and love.

Cousin Butchie

Thank you for letting me give you the background. In my opinion, I will give this personal topic a few more weeks. We will see if others join the chorus.

Thank you for your help in starting this subject. I am willing to turn off the computer for now. In the meantime, you are more than welcome to jump in with your opinion-- pro and con. We will revisit as many as possible in the coming weeks. It's up to you to ask more pointed questions. You may also send a private e-mail to


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