From a Very Worried Mom

Posted by Cousin Butchie on Thursday, June 16, 2016

Cousin Butchie,

I am writing to you because I know that you are around my son's age-- and because he has let me read some of your blogs. I don't know where else to turn because my son is out of the closet, but I am not! I just don't have the right answers to give when people say ignorant things.

I have been very accepting of my son and his friends over the past two years. I even went to several Pride events last year. Now, I am scared to death that some mentally deranged person or group of people could kill my son and his friends just as horribly as the Radical Islamic pig terrorized, seriously wounded or outright killed so many gay and lesbian people in the prime of their lives, the ages of my son and his close friends.

I love them but I am not blind to the very possible dangers in New York on June 26th.

I also want to add that I have attended a Pride Parade in NYC and was mortified and more than uneasy with the way some of the gay and lesbian people "dressed" and made fools of themselves. What possible good does this type of display achieve?


Very Worried Mom

Dear Very Worried Mom,

Thank you for reaching out, and from all that you've written I thank you for being a loving and accepting parent of your son and a support to his friends in the LGBT community.

Your fears are part of the grief and helplessness felt by many, many people since Sunday's unspeakable massacre of forty-nine young people (LGBT and Straight) in Orlando. There has been a remarkable and wonderful outpouring of support and love from the sane and caring/loving people from EVERY faith and every walk of life. There have been some expected tirades from the likes of Pat Robertson of "The 700 Club," but they might have redeemed themselves if they had been humane and true to the demands of their faith traditions. That wasn't gonna happen!

My Uncle RJ has told me that right after the September 11th destruction of the Twin Towers and almost three thousand people there was fear and trembling, probably on a larger scale. Life as Americans had known it would never be the same again.  New York City virtually shut down. People were silent and somber for days. The theaters were shut down and Broadway went dark.  Churches and synagogues were filled to capacity. It was the start of funerals for people of all faiths and those of no faith at all. The clergy were at a loss for words and they found it even harder to console the families of those whose loved ones were simply buried in the rubble.

Amidst the feelings of impotence, rage and grief, President George Bush, Mayor Guliani and Governor Pataki all spoke to New York and the nation telling them to diminish any sense of joy and victory from our enemies and get back to being vibrant and resilient. They were told to go back to the restaurants and theaters-- and resume living as best they could. I don't recall who said it...but, "LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE."

No one can totally assure you that the coming Pride events will be safe, BUT you can know that the security of the area will be monitored closely by the full force of the F.B.I., police, Homeland Security and anti-terror forces in our nation. Your son and his friends are old enough to make up their own minds, and they will probably not be stopped by the fears which are running rampant in your mind. I don't think you could ask for anything more. Just remember that your son (and the parents of his friends) can be proud that they raised kids who grew into proud and caring people.  Without you, it would never have happened as well.

As for the sights one sees at some Pride Parades, Cousin Butchie has always been very interested in seeing some of the scantily clad LGBT people, but I can understand the shock some parents have when they first see this type of parade marcher. Although it possibly does more harm than good with the general public, it is only one day a year. It's one wild and crazy day to flaunt all that has been hidden or reviled for so many years.

Love to a Great Mom,

Cousin Butch


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