B/F is a Jehovah's Witness

Posted by Cousin Butchie on Thursday, November 19, 2015

Dear Cousin Butchie,

I probably have the most unusual situation you have ever heard. I hope you can give me some good advice.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about six months. Usually, our dates are only on certain days because he says he must be at the Kingdom Hall (like a church for Jehovah's Witnesses) with his family. He is definitely gay. I will swear to that, but he says that his commitment to his religion is extremely important in these last days of the world as we know it.

I find him very depressing when he spouts the end of the world talk, and I don't understand how he can be gay and so involved in this religion.



Hi, Worried!

My friend, I would have answered your question privately, but you are dealing with a problem which Cousin Butchie has experienced in his own family. For that reason, it is important for me to get the word out.

Your boyfriend is attempting to live a double life-- as a gay person and as a Jehovah's Witness. Were it a different religion I would not be so critical. From what I know, and what YOU can watch on YouTube, is that there is no such thing as a gay Jehovah's Witness. If the elders find out that he is gay, he will be shunned by the entire congregation. He can attend services but no one will speak to him. His parents will be pressured to cut him totally out of their lives. Jehovah's Witnesses should not be called a religion. Rather, it is a cult.

If your boyfriend continues to see you and claims to be a Jehovah's Witness, you need to ask him what will happen if he ever comes out. It will be a devastating treatment he receives. If he remains a Jehovah's Witness, sooner or later, people will figure out that he is gay. He will gradually understand that he cannot play on both sides of the fence.

In this cult, the following practices are demanded:

1. Not associating with anyone who will not be converted. Virtually divorcing all family members not in the cult.

2. Celebrating no birthdays or holidays, not even Thanksgiving.

3. The expectation is that the member not associate with anyone out of the local cult's Kingdom Hall.

4. Higher education is frowned upon because members should be preparing for Armageddon.

5. Taking THEIR translation of the Bible as the absolute word of Jehovah. The fact that they have re-written it to suit their beliefs is considered an inspiration from on high.

6. He will be expected to go knocking on doors to recruit new members on a regular basis.

So.... You may very well lose your boyfriend, but it is a question of WHEN and not IF he has been brainwashed to the extent that he views you as a temptation put in his way.

I know that it will be difficult, but go online as I suggested and hear the experiences of other LGBT people who have come out while they were members.

Talk to your boyfriend. Let him watch the first person experiences on You Tube. Ask him whether he is going to choose between the cult and you. In all probability, he will break up with you. If he tries to tell you that he can be both gay and a Jehovah's Witness, kick him to the curb and get on with your life. It just ain't going to happen!!!

So sorry,

Cousin Butchie

P.S.  If anyone reading this wishes to affirm or correct anything I have written, please feel free to do so. 

Nick on October 29, 2019 at 11:04:40 pm said:
Hi Cousin Butchie! I have the same situation with my boyfriend but he read this article and decided he chooses me over his religion/"cult". What do you think is the next safe steps for our relationship?

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