A Birthday Present?

Posted by Cousin Butchie on Sunday, September 6, 2015

Dear Cousin Butchie,

It feels strange writing to you, but I want an answer from someone who doesn't know me or my family.

My brother is 15 and his birthday is coming up in two weeks. We usually exchange gag type gifts and crazy birthday cards so when he told me that he wanted something special for his birthday I was surprised. He asked me for lubricated condoms. He blushed when he asked for them, and I was just taken a little off guard. Believe it or not, I don't know if my brother is gay or bi or straight. He has dated girls, but I now recall that he hangs around with a few very good looking guys-- one of whom is rumored to be gay. I don't know if it's true or not.

I asked my friend "Cynthia" what she would do, and she told me to tell our parents. That's an option, but I feel I would be betraying my brother.

Would you please give me your opinion? If I'm wrong tell me.

Thanks!

Big Bro


Dear Big Bro,

I would first of all have to say that your brother must trust you a lot to ask for this present. I would say that he trusts you not to tell your parents about his request.

Cousin Butchie would buy him the condoms. After his birthday find a time to talk to him about the present you gave him. Ask him if he has any questions and tell him about any experiences you have had. Start by talking about any problems you had buying condoms first. Open the door to the discussion and you may establish more of a bond that will last all your life. Another intro for this conversation is discussing where to put them so your parents don't find them.

I seriously don't think you need to tell your parents about this.  

Your brother is choosing to act responsibly, and I believe he has a fear that most dudes have-- embarrassment buying condoms. Unless there is an older woman at the cash register, no one looks twice when these. Tell him that when he buys them for himself, he should go to a chain drug store where family planning products are on clear display. He can then take them to the hottest looking cashier and he may wink at your brother when he puts them on the counter (along with the three other unnecessary items he is purchasing to take the attention off the latex).

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