Interviewing Uncle RJ

Posted by Cousin Butchie on Saturday, August 15, 2015

Dear Readers,

Some of you have asked questions about my Uncle RJ. In fact, one kind soul suggested that he's been answering the questions in my blog/column. I have decided to interview my Uncle RJ and ask him for brief responses to the questions which have been posed.

BUTCHIE: Uncle RJ, how do you feel about the visit of Pope Francis and what it may do to influence the hierarchy of the Catholic Church?

UNCLE RJ:  have a very cautiously hopeful opinion of Pope Francis. I already know that he is the best man to be pope in my hundred years of life. There are many problems facing the Catholic Church and the world in general. It is my sincere hope that Francis will shake up the church enough to create meaningful change on LGBT issues, divorce issues, the ongoing child abuse scandal, the end to celibacy and sexism as requirements for ordination to the priesthood. The list goes on. How can we not trust in a man who is kind enough to put toilets and showers in St. Peter's Square for the homeless?

BUTCHIE: But how do you feel about the silent or negative responses of some of the upper echelon members of the hierarchy?

UNCLE RJ: I do not think that some of the conservative and high-living members of the hierarchy are going to support a pope who shows by his witness that he is nothing like them -- and that he will change their lifestyles very soon. We have not heard anything more about the uber expensive retirement home built by the Archbishop of Newark (along with hundreds of thousands of dollars in additions). Pope Francis did send an assistant archbishop to reign in John J. Myers and to be his successor, but this man was then sent to straighten out another mess in another archdiocese in the U.S.

BUTCHIE: Does anyone where you live know you are gay?

UNCLE RJ: I have told a few people I trust implicitly, and I have discovered that any woman living here who isn't invited out to dinner by me is assuming I am gay. I have heard the rumors and no longer care. There have been several lonely women who seemed to be getting too close in my space, and I decided NOT to tell them they were barking up the wrong tree. I have just kept things at a distance.

BUTCHIE: If you were a Republican for whom would you be campaigning right now?

UNCLE RJ: Butchie, your parents sent you to some very good schools, and I would think that you have more smarts than to ask a question like that. First of all, I was never a Republican. If I were, I would not support any of them. As it is, I'm having a hard enough time figuring out whom I support on the Democratic side of the forthcoming race.

BUTCHIE: You know that I date a lot but haven't found Mr. Right yet. Do you think it's wrong for me to allow some of these guys to give me donations toward tuition and money for gas, etc.? Of course, they also want to become intimate.

UNCLE RJ: My dear nephew, I believe that you are acting like a hustler or prostitute or whateverever we are now calling people who are paid for intimacy. I also don't think it does much for your self-esteem to have your hand out every time you drop your pants. Do you understand what I am saying?

BUTCHIE: I worry a lot about abortion. Do you think it's right or wrong?

UNCLE RJ: You really need not worry because I am certain that it is still impossible for you to get pregnant. If I were to state an answer for others, I don't believe that any man has the right to tell a woman what she can do with her body.  My stance is that I'd like to see people pro-choice before conception (with pills and condoms and even abstinence) and then pro-life after conception, BUT I still don't believe that there is a rule that fits all.

BUTCHIE:  Since you are my uncle, I feel I can ask you this. Sometimes dudes are asked what they are attracted to first in someone they are crushing on. I come right out and say that it's a combination of their personality and their junk.  What do you think?

UNCLE RJ: I tend to agree to some degree. The guys who say they are attracted to another man's ear lobes or his car are fairly shallow and stupid.

BUTCHIE: Are you in favor of gun control and/or rigid laws about who should be allowed to own a weapon?

UNCLE RJ: Yes, and I believe that much of what we see happening today is caused by the lack of adequate gun control.

BUTCHIE: What is your opinion of Governor Christie running for president?

UNCLE RJ: That's pretty much of a no brainer. I find him to be arrogant, rude, deceitful and a bully. There were two times during Hurricane Sandy that I liked the man. The first was when he was in Sea Bright and screamed to some NJ residents to "get the hell off the beach". Soon after that, he embraced President Obama for coming to witness the damage and offer help to the state's residents. Of course, some of his Republican pals across the nation denounced him for that.

BUTCHIE: In your elderly opinion, who are the hottest celebrities in the country today?

UNCLE RJ: Well... Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jack Gylhen(whatever the rest of his name is), Anderson Cooper, Ricky Martin, Ellen Degeneres, Rachel Maddow, Sarah Palin (Only busting on you), Judge Judy. There are many more. Maybe the readers will tell you their picks.

BUTCHIE: Thank you for taking the time to answer me here at Starbuck's.  I hope you will write your own blog soon.  I'm sure you have a great deal more to say.

UNCLE RJ: Are you going to get me another moccachino or just leave me here alone and still thirsty?

Your questions for either of us can be sent to or

P/S-The opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of anyone else in the entire world.


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