Outed by my best friend
Dear Cousin Butchie,
I am writing to you but I don't know what you or anyone else can do to help.
I have been in the closet during my fist two years in high school. No one really seemed to suspect, and I don't think I fit anyof the stereotypes that are going around. In fact, my best friend and I were really tight, but I decided not to tell him because there never seemed to be a reason. Well, when the right to marry became legal a few weeks ago, I was out skate boarding with my friend, and I heard him say something kind of ignorant about the subject. Then, I all of a sudden, had the impluse to tell him that I am gay. I cannot lie. I was hoping that we would hook up at least a few times this summer. He told me that it didn't matter, that we were still friends, and that he would not tell anyone.
I'm really glad school is out for the summer. More than a few of my friends told me that they heard I am gay. No one was mean about it, but they did act "different" towards me. I am so angry with my best friend that I would like to show him how unstereotypical I am and punch him in the nose a few hundred times. What should I do about this betrayal?
Dear Gay Boy,
Congratulations on coming out to your best friend. You must have thought about it for awhile and decided it would be good.
First of all, I would call your friend on it. Ask him why he broke his promise to you. Also let him know how you feel. In all probability, you surprised him with this revelation and he felt he needed to tell the world.
You have the summer for the news to travel around and I suggest that you draw near to the students who are okay with it. You'll need a support system. If your school has a gay-straight alliance, obviously you should join it. You might also find a guidance counselor you can confide in. Bullying is not allowed in our schools, so make sure you report any incidents.
On a more positive note, I think you will be fine. Many students today are more enlightened and don't really care about this issue. When I think about it, the straight boys must feel somewhat relieved that they won't lose their girlfriends to some very attractive gay dudes!
Write me again if there is a problem in September.