Mom and Dad Weren't Upset When I Came Out on Sunday Night

Posted by Cousin Butchie on Wednesday, June 10, 2015

 Hi Cousin Butchie!

Thanks for mentioning NJ Gay Pride. I went on Sunday and had a wonderfully fabulous time. I am 17 y.o. and it was totally unplanned but I met five dudes from my high school who will now be my BFF friends. I was attracted to one of them for the last two years. The other four were a totally pleasant surprise!

I did get a pretty bad sunburn on Sunday, so when I got home my mom asked me if I had been to the shore. Duh! It was apparent. I left my backpack for four minutes when I went to the bathroom to put Noxzema on my face, and my parents opened it and saw the whole load of LGBT literature.

When I came back in the living, mom and dad both told me that they love and that nothing would ever change that. I was a little uncomfortable, but dad broke the news that they had both known I was gay since I was seven years old. Holy crap! I didn't know I was gay back then....and if they suspected it why didn't they tell me? And why did they keep dragging me to a synagogue where the rabbi was way homophobic?

The only bummer was when they asked if I was sure... and when they asked if I had a boyfriend and who was the husband and who was the wife.

It's only Wednesday and I've been asked so many questions I feel like Google. I have promised to always be safe, to not take drugs (as if this is a gay thing) and to not tell the relatives until we are all ready.

I guess this is a success story....but I can't say that mom, dad and I are comfortable with it all.



Dear BJM,

Yes, this is a success story! Many LGBT people have come out and had dire consequences.

Be patient with your parents, suggest hat they attend PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meetings, and try to take it a little slowly with them. They may have known when you were seven year old, but I suspect that the didn't really process it.

Time after time, we hear about parents telling a child that they knew years ago. You have a right to find this annoying, but give your parents a break. The love and acceptance of your parents equals about the best gift you will ever receive...

P.S. Anyone needing to speak to a gay-accepting priest, rabbi or minister can write back, tell me your general location, and I promise to find someone in a congregation/parish/whatever who is accepting. This would work well for you and for your parents. To contact me privately, please go to


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