I Think I'm in Big Trouble Now
Dear Cousin Butchie,
I am in deep trouble, and I want to ask you how to go about making things better. I have no one else I can trust with the details of this problem.
I am a gay teenager. I knew I was gay for sure when I was 12, I acted on it when I was 14 and came out to my parents. They took a little while to adjust, but they didn't go catatonic on me. I was still their son and they wanted what is best for me. I have had a girl friend (two words) since kindergarten, and she's been very cool about my gayness and she sometimes accompanies me to family functions so people think I'm dating her.
The problem arose three weeks ago. She is pregnant, and I am the father. I don't know how it happened and I remember nothing. I can't believe that I was able to impregnate any girl. Now, I don't know what to do. She's not showing yet, but her parents must be told and mine must be told. If she has my child and lives in the area, things will even get crazier. What in God's name can we do? You must be wondering what subconsciously led me to have sex with her, and I can only think what a buddy of mine said "I didn't want to die wondering."
Congratulations! Without any memory of the event, you had sex with your "girl friend" and now she's pregant with your baby. Somehow, I would have expected that a gay dude would think about condoms in all situations. I won't even speculate on the condition you were in when you had sex with her, but obviously it was nothing that stood in your way of completing the act.
Go to your parents and her parents and tell them everything. A possibility is putting the child up for adoption through Catholic Charities or Planned Parenthood or Jewish Family Service. Any of them can help you or direct you to the right services. If you are comfortable with abortion, that is another option. It is something the girl must believe will be something she can do without remorse, now or later. You are both kids yourselves and you are not capable of raising a child and going to college, etc. Often, in cases like this, one set of grandparents raises the child. For many, many reasons this is not a great plan.
By the way, your buddy's remark about how this happened is stupid. For me, slap him upside the head kind of hard.
Comments from readers are more than welcome, but identities cannot be given.