Wedding Rings

Posted by Cousin Butchie on Saturday, December 21, 2013

Hi Cousin Butchie and Happy Solstice,

This is not an urgent matter, but I hope you have an answer I can show to my friends and my older brother, Brian. Brian is in his 30's, so I am aware that I was an accident or just totally unplanned. However our parents hit the jackpot with two sons who are both gay, and we were born 11 plus years apart.

Okay, Brian tells me that in the older generation of gay men, if they made a commitment to each other or had a wedding service (illegal back then) that they usually wore their commitment rings on their right hands. Brian says that this made it clear that the relationship was open and that they would like to hook up with other dudes...sometimes with the condition they not being them home, and other times promising to bring them home. My boyfriend and I are a little young to get married, but we want to wear rings to signify our love for each other.  We're not looking to be promiscuous, and we want to wear the rings on our left hands as in a traditional marriage commitment. Brian says this is so wrong because we're not even in a civil union.

Can you answer this for me, please?


Dear Dennis,

I have heard this type of reasoning before, and I’ve heard it in many different and contradictory ways. I personally feel that two guys in a relationship should be allowed to wear rings in their noses if they wish.  Your brother may be correct about how things were when he was your age.  I have no idea, but I have heard another reason for not wearing rings on the left hand....they say that it mimics straight marriage and also fosters the premise that when a person is married he doesn't need to be monogamous to copy the breeders. 

Do what works best for you, and what feels right for you. Don't let the gay fashion and correctness police (and they are out there, believe me) dictate what you and your boyfriend do or which hand you wear your rings on. 

Just your brother attached or married to another dude...or where is he coming from?  You two guys should have a close bonding because you're both gay...and I congratulate your parents for adapting so well, assuming they have!

Questions may be asked in this blog comment space or sent directly to


Leave a Comment