Do I Have to Do It?
Dear Cousin Butchie,
I am very new at dating. I knew I was gay when I was 12 but I have just started to have enough confidence to date other guys. I am now 17. Things have been great most of the time. I have met several guys who started as sex partners but will be my friends forever. There is one really hot dude I started dating two weeks ago. We've been intimate, but not as far as he wants. The deal is that he is into something called "rimming." When I refused because it sounded too strange for me, the dude became angry, but we still made wild and crazy love. When I asked my friends to explain what rimming meant, they treated it all like a hoot until I begged them to be serious. I have looked it up, and I know that it's not something I ever want to do. My hot dude keeps pressing the issue, and I'm actually confused about it. It seems like I'm in the minority among all gay men about this practice. What do you think I should do. One of my buds offered to show me how it's done. I'm sure I can figure it out, but I just am so not into it.
First of all, when it comes to any kind of sex, if both partners are not in agreement that they want to do it and that they enjoy it there needs to be some discussion. Never allow anyone talk you into doing something which turns you off. In this case, i would venture to say that I know it's a seemingly common practice and it does have very similar straight counterparts, but do not yield your basic instincts. If this dude really loves and cares for you, he will respect your limits. I might mention that some guys have been persuaded to have unsafe sex, etc. Just use your own commonsense, and don't apologize.