Thanks from Usually Dateless

Posted by Cousin Butchie on Thursday, May 2, 2013 Butchie (I don't say "Dear" because you are not dear to me any longer.)

Well, my date was last night.  You remember that I wrote to ask you how to get a conversation going. with a hot dude I had never met before.   You gave me a lot of pointers on what to say and what not to say.  I cut classes today because I am  still so exasperated.

Here's what went down.  We met at Houlihan's in Bridgewater.  We were seated right away, and I began asking questions like "Do you come here often?" and I thought things were going fine.  I interrogated him for about thirty minutes.  I also gave him a wink to call his attention to the extremely over the top bus boy.  He smiled and we both laughed a little.  My new friend then excused himself to go to the men's room. AND THAT'S THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM.  He must have found a way to escape using the security door OR he could have walked around the bar area and out the front door.

I waited for him for a long time and asked the hostess if she had seen him.  She said that he paid her for the drinks and appetizers we had shared.  She thanked me because he had also given her a large tip for the waiter.

So, was my blind date rude?  Why won't he answer my calls on his cell phone? 

Yours truly,


Hey pal, I'm sorry things went wrong!  I also consider  your date's conduct to be rotten.  And there's no doubt in my mind that he was rude and uncaring.  Whether you want to call me "dear" or not, I want you to understand that your Cousin Butchie is totally on your side.  Even the writers for the "Dear Abby" column sometimes are surprised by the bad manners and childishness of someone like your date.

Now what might you do?  Put this dude out of your mind.  NEVER  allow yourself  to obsess over him.  You dated a rotten apple type of dude  and you now need to banish this guy from your thoughts.  You know that someone else will come along and treat you the right way.

I've been told that most negative situations have a positive side.  It's usually true.  In your case, the schmuck did pay the hostess for the check. 

Remember, my friend, that you have learned two very important  lifetime lessons.  First, you can often run across other men and women who  have no manners and will let you down.  I would venture to say that 95% of gay/bi men would never pull a stunt like this character pulled on you.  AND equally important... for first dates especially ,make sure you drive your own car and the other guy drives his.  Also make sure that one or two people you really trust know your plans for the evening.  In the beginning  when dating someone new, this is a very important safety assurance for you.

I really hope I am "dear" once again!   LOL

Marie B. on May 2, 2013 at 5:23:28 pm said:
I apologize for not being a good speller or typer.
Marie B. on May 2, 2013 at 5:20:19 pm said:
Dear Cousin Butchie,
This was an especially good column. I thank you because most of the LGBT people I know including myself have have similar dating problems. You almost always give excellent advice and you need to know that it's appreciated. Thank you, Cousin! Maybe the world would be a better place if we recognized that we are all members of one family. As LGBT people, we should let the media recognize our unity and love despite the diversity of our lives, and how much we are all connected.
the media us

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