Another Holiday

Posted by Cousin Butchie on Sunday, March 31, 2013

Hey, Cousin Butchie!

Happy Easter or Passover or whatever.  Although my family celebrates Easter, I backed out of their invitations to dinner and the interminable discussions which always occur...fueled by alcohol.  I went out real early and bought some bagels and newspapers.  Now, my phone will only accept messages.  Is there a solution to this family problem with holidays?  I hope for a day when I have a real friend-- a husband.  This was we can alternately visit our respective families and and answer as a team.  Or we can stay home and I'll buy more bagels.

Judas

Dear Brother (not Judas!!),

Your problem is by no means unique.  I am willing to bet that you are "out" to your parents, and it's the extraneous relatives who present the biggest challenge and the most grief.  It's been my observation that when a child (of any age) comes out of the closet, the parents very often run into that closet and close the door for awhile.  They are getting comfrotable with your orientation, but they are often not ready to explain it to the friends and relatives.  To my knowledge, parents who don't accept their LGBT offspring very often find that they have moved to a far away part of the country.

Another thought comes to mind.  Perhaps you know other LGBT people who have the same holiday difficulties.  Try advertising online and "creating a family" during the holidays.  You will  most likely establish close friendships and you will have the "chosen" family which will give you an entirely different perspective on the holidays.

P.S.  Make sure to ask each person wishing to join you to bring a special dish or a bottle of wine, etc.  This will take the financial burden off you and it will make the "new friends/family" feel that they aren't just observers.

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