Dating Blues

Posted by Cousin Butchie on Thursday, July 12, 2012

Hey, Cousin Butchie,

I have been home from college for about two months, and dating has turned out to be a real bitch.  I'm going into my third year at school, but this is the first summer vacation that I have been out.  I have had one night flings with many dudes around my age.  Usually, they are predictable and boring, and not even the sex can make up for this fact.  So, I paid some bucks and joined an online dating service.  This has been even worse luck.  I gave my stats and picture, and I assumed the other dudes would present equally honest postings.  Well, one guy put up a picture that looked like a very young version of Matt Damon.  We chatted online for about a week, and it seemed that we had a lot in common.  I invited the dude to my place (a converted carriage house behind my parents' home).  When he showed up, he didn't understand why I turned green when I saw him.  He was NOT anything like his picture, he was dressed in clothes from the thrift shop and handed me a bottle of Night Train .  Not knowing what else to do, I invited him in. As we spoke for awhile I realized that he had a speech impediment...along with a scraggily beard and foul breath.  When he took it upon himself to sit right next to me, he made a grab at my private personal parts.  As I slapped him away, I could detect the body odor of a skunk.   I finally lost my usual calm demeanor and told him to get out of my place and to not look back.  There were similar issues with online liars.

What do I do for the rest of the summer?  It's so much better back at college where I live in a predominantly gay dorm, and the other four guys are at least bisexual. 

Rodney

Dear Rodney,

While I have heard stories very similar to yours about dating services, I'm also aware that some very good connections can be made, even on Craigslist, if you take your time and spell out clearly what you're looking for and what you absolutely are not.  You don't say what university has the gay and bisexual dormitory, I'm sure that some of these guys must take summer courses.

BTW, you write that you have had one night flings with many dudes around your age.  Well, what happened, Stud?  Didn't you connect  with them ALSO on a friendship level?  Cousin Butchie knows that the mechanics of dating are sometimes awkward, it's really the most likely way you will ever find a long term relationship.  Possibly, there is something about you that needs to be re-examined and altered. Good luck!   And what school do you attend?  Sounds like Fire Island University.

 

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Cousin Butchie has recently learned that his Uncle RJ who writes the Gay and Gray Blog every once in a blue moon is asking readers to answer three questions he asks on his recent "Test" blog.  Being old and easily worried, he is trying to find out how many people actually read his blog. He says that Cousin Butchie also wants to know, and that's a stretch.  I only agreed with him that we don't know.

TO ASK A QUESTION PRIVATELY OR TO RESPOND TO UNCLE RJ's QUESTIONS, YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME TO CONTACT ME AT WWW.KIPPYNJ.COM  OR ON THE NJ GAY LIFE SITE. 

Comments
Jeff on March 24, 2013 at 3:33:55 am said:
I am a middle aged gay man in north nj. I live in a very hostile gay unfriendly area which harasses me and anyone that goes near my apt. I have been very lonely and confused and have even been beaten up on several occasions. Since I am a 'Bottom' the Town hates me. I wont dare bring anyone to my apt since the Powers that be would target them. In this day and age homophobic hate crimes still exist. Believe me I am scarred by these animals. Anyone know of any non bar atmososphere where Gay men can meet? Coffee shops or Health clubs? I am looking for a Long Term Relationship with a Man in his 40's

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