Yes, Jesus May Well Have Been Gay!

Posted by RJ on Monday, October 10, 2011

It has always been apparent to me that Michael Moore takes on the giant corporations and the government leaders to make some very valid observations.  His latest controvery came when Moore said that Jesus may very well have been gay.  I don't know the specifics on how much depth went into his assertion, but I must first admit to the fact that your blogger (RJ) had similar very respectful and sincere conclusions on this very question while being taught by the Christian Brothers in eighth grade.  I was inquisitive to the extent that I gave the brothers migraines.  I recall that my homosexual brain was operating at full speed ahead, but I was smart enough to frame my questions in a subdued and non-gay manner. 

No matter what the "holy" pictures show, I don't believe that Jesus was an easy child to raise.  On one occasion he disappeared from sight, making Mary and Joseph frantic.  When he was located he was in the temple teaching the religious leaders of his day.  Then we recall that his mom, Blessed Mary Ever Virgin, asked Jesus to save a marriage feast by turning water into wine.  Jesus was annoyed that he was even asked to do this, but he finally agreed because he had reached the time in his life when he knew how much guilt a mother of any religious persuasion could generate if necessary.  He relented and peformed the miracle which resulted in a quality of wine which was far from Ripple and Thunderbird  The people needed really vintage wine for weddings and holydays, and that's what Jesus gave back to them in the jugs which formerly held only water.  It was early in his life that Jesus started to assert his independence.  Often he must have been late for dinner or stayed out past his curfew.  Since the bible is incredibly silent about what Jesus was doing from the ages of about 14 to 30, one can only assume that he was out raising some Cain with his friends.  How many times they grabbed a spare donkey and went to the clubs in the city has been pondered by theologians for centuries.  The assumption would be that he hung around with his buddies because if it were different, he might have been lusting in his heart about all the girls carrying water jugs on their heads.  So, Jesus probably stayed with his buds and worked out at the gym, smoked a few Camels and used his testosterone overload to quite possibly mess around with some of the other hot dudes in his crowd.  He must have listened to hundreds of those conquest accounts from his buddies.  Then, just as now, in the beginning the stories are fabricated ...and eventually BROMANCES must have developed  with other boys, but this is not recorded.  Nor is anything mentioned about dating girls.  Go figure!  In the 21st Century the faith tradition leaders infrequently and even more ignorantly speak about pre-marital sex, masturbation, homosexuality and the like.  The problem is that there is very little ammunition to back up the "Thou shalt not" preachers of today.  We just don't know if Jesus dated or if he was gay, etc.  As a heterosexual or as a homosexual Jesus would have had plenty of time to expermiment and party.  Since we know that Jesus had connections, we also can understand why his adolesence and young adulthood are just not to be found in the bible.  No matter how Jesus lived and related during those years, someone must have simply erased the scripture references.

All of the above is an assumption which makes good sense.  The analysis here is caused by the absolute shock and disgust and chaos Michael Moore caused by inferring that Jesus may have been gay.  The homophobia of straight people, especially in our fundamentalist sects, is starkly  obvious in the news reports on Michael Moore's revelation.  Some people will not discuss the sexuality of Jesus.  They don't believe it is proper to consider the physical nature of this child born in a cave and crucified for claiming to be the Son of God.  The scenario is full of questions one cannot answer.  As Sister used to insist--  "It's a mystery."  HOWEVER when a logical thinker starts to even touch the possibility of Jesus being gay, the crowds react worse than when someone stole their village mule.  To their way of thinking, it's just not possible bcause it's against nature, intrinsically disordered and just plain wrong. 

What occurs when anyone suggests to a gay person that Jesus may well have been gay? Some laugh but suddenly see the possibility. Other gay people often act shocked and not amused.  Their internalized homophobia suddenly kicks in and they will not entertain the thought.  It's obviously reflecting how they truly feel about themselves being made in the image and likeness of God.  Some will say that even such thinking is shameful.  I may have been ahead of the group in my childhood images of Jesus, but it never bothered me for a moment when I realized that Jesus must have had bowel movements.  I don't recall sharing this insight with anyone else.

To sum it up, if we had lived back in the day growing up with Jesus, we might have been playing primitive football with him, or we might possibly have been planning a tea party,  What we could then know was that God (or our high power) made us just as we are for reasons know only to Godself.  Gay or straight or bi-sexual or transgender or inter-sexed, we never have to stop for even a moment and believe the crap of homophobic religionists who so very often have major issues of their own to deal with.  Keeping God in a box in which every person fits identical molds of what is normal and not normal is a defilement of the gift of sex we have inherited in all of its beauty and for the infinite forms of expression God planned in bestowing on us this life-giving and unlimited and procreative and recreational gift from on high.

And to recall a newspaper cartoon I saw awhile ago.  Monks who transcribed the bible into contemporary language were aghast when they discovered the same error being made time after time.  Finally, it was revealed that the key word is CELEBRATE, NOT CELIBATE!

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